Interpreting the Nonverbal BatCommunication Manual
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: Nightwing & Flash are having an Argument about the use of Puns in Battle...Donna gets involved, the Justice League looks on with fear/amusement...Eyebrows will be raised, bad puns will be made... Not slash unless you stand on one leg and squint. XD


**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, Justice League or any of their characters...No matter how much I wish I did...Nor the Austin Powers quote I made at one point, see if you can find it...**

**Non-Slash, but I do say a naughty word, therefore Rated K+ for caution, please enjoy and REVIEW! I love hearing from you all!^^**

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><p><strong>Interpreting the Non-Verbal BatCommunication Manual…<strong>

"…if you just could've paid slightly more attention to the _Rampaging Super-Villain…?_"

Flash winced and ducked slightly at the rebuke, glaring balefully at one of his oldest friends –someone he even considered family; Nightwing just raised an eyebrow behind the mask in a 'Seriously?' gesture.

Wally straightened and crossed his arms, knowing full well at least half the Justice League was watching this exchange –how could they not? The pair _were_ in the Meeting Room of the Watchtower…

"Hey, if I hadn't distracted the big guy, he would have swatted you and Donna through another wall!" he cried back, indignantly. This provoked a smile from his companion, who tilted his head in a 'Oh, really?' gesture…Wally was eternally grateful that years in Nightwing's company had at least given him an insight into the Dictionary of Non-Verbal Bat-Communication…

"Don't look at me like that; I _so_ had your backs! Seriously!" the Speedster whined as he received an amused –at least, amused for one of the BatClan- smirk…

"Hey, I- no don't you blame this on me, I _totally _had- what do you _mean_ I shouldn't have called him a _Giraffe Imitator_?"

~)0(~

From across the Room at the Meeting Table, John Stewart gazed over at Wonder Woman, Superman and J'onn, who also occupied their seats in fascinated amusement; having watched the, seemingly one-sided, argument from the moment they had walked into the room.

It was rather funny, watching the energetic red-head vibrating on the spot and speaking increasingly faster in exasperation at the 'responses' he seemed to be perceiving in his stoically silent partner; for his part, Nightwing had not said another word since the half-phrase they had heard him utter after they entered this meeting space.

"How is he _doing that?_" whispered the Green Lantern in the general direction of his fellow League Members, Superman merely smirked and remained tight-lipped, Diana remained silent with a puzzled look on her face and J'onn regarded the two wordlessly.

"They grew up together," came a low voice from the shadows, materialising into the menacing shaped of Batman, right of his chair. Barely controlling the urge to flinch at the very least –jump in fright at worst- in instinctive fright, John looked up and raised an eyebrow; green eyes questioning.

"The Teen Titans, remember? They were the originals, the ones the new Titans look up to, they all practically lived together in that Tower of theirs for years. It would make sense for Wally to have worked out at least some of the non-verbal clues…" the Cowled-Crusader continued.

J'onn nodded approvingly, Clark tilted his head in surprise –rarely having heard Bruce ever utter this many words when completely unnecessary, although, in this instance his x-ray vision detected pride in the gaze directed now at Nightwing, and he smiled accordingly.

Wonder Woman, Princess of the Amazons, appeared to have an epiphany at that very moment and stated, "So _that's_ why he and Donna rarely talk, I could never work out why their conversations held so little words but expressed so much…"

"Speaking of Donna, she's in the Infirmary, Diana." Came another voice, startling them all. Wonder Woman leapt upright and was halfway to the door before anyone could blink, stopping to lay a hand on Nightwing's arm, "Is she alright?" she demanded. He nodded, "Just a slight case of, 'Had-a-Building-(or-two)-Fall-on-Her' nothing serious…"

Diana smiled and flew out the door, which opened obligingly with a soft, _Whoosh_. The former Leader of the Titans turned back on his once-teammate, "…which wouldn't have happened if you hadn't spent the entire battle insulting the giant, rampaging Super-Villain! I could almost forgive you if you had at least been creative, but 'Tiny Tim'? 'Shrimp'? 'Shorty'? What were you thinking? Those were more painful for the rest of us than for him, I'm sure!"

For the first time in his life, Flash was found to be speechless, mouth gaping like a beached fish… When suddenly a dangerous light came into his eye…

~)0(~

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't like that look…" muttered John to the others, pushing back in his seat as far he could go, Batman looked…bemused, and Clark was biting his lip in anticipation of…what, exactly?

J'onn seemed to know what was about to occur and hid a grin behind a concealing hand, placed in such a manner to give the Martian a thoughtful look, almost of quiet dignity…which was then thrown out the airlock…

~)0(~

"Hey, if I hadn't told him he looked like a bad accident between a ladder and a mutant elephant, you would be in the Infirmary with Donna right now and you know it!" came the slightly peeved reply, red gloved fists clenched at his sides, Wally took a step forwards into the impassive night-bird's face, "And I seem to remember _someone_ making far worse puns than _me_, before, _Shortpants!_"

"I wouldn't go there, _Speedfreak_," Nightwing practically growled back at him…but Flash was on a roll, there was no stopping him…not even to save his life…

"…Like that time we fought that Turkish-pirate-alien guy in the funny red hat? What was it you said when he asked 'Don't you know Who I AM?', oh yes, and I quote, "_I may not know your name, but I never forget a __Fez__!"_

Not to mention when he started that monologue as he was dipping the rest of us into a vat of Lava –where did he get that by the way, we were in _Space!_- and you swooped in to save our collective butts and yelled, "_Talk to the hand, the fez ain't listening!"_

And you accused _me_ of crimes against the English language and insults in general? Gah!"

The speedster threw his hands in the air, exasperated and dashed in a quick circle around the stunned bird, the light tinge of blush had spread across his cheeks under the mask and only added to the shocked expression on his face…

Then he grinned, victoriously, "Wally, I was _twelve!_ I don't think that counts, do you? Compared with the fact you're-"

The Flash halted abruptly and swung around to face Nightwing, "Hey! That's not fair, no, stop being so damn smug abo- Well, what about last week when we were on Tamaran and you told Kori that- _**hurck**_!"

In the space of an instant, Wally went from a meter in front of Bludhaven protector…to pinned to the opposite wall by four separate birdarangs…batarangs…whatever…

And a certain person was smiling a _little_ too much to be bordering on anything but Smug, the speedster opened his mouth to fire off another verbal volley, when a fifth object grazed over his face and pinned his red cowl behind him. Exposing the furious face of Wallace West, who looked about ready to vibrate Nightwing through a few dozen walls, right about now…

~)0(~

When he paused and went wide-eyed in surprise, the un-masked face of his friend looked back in amusement, his identity-concealing mask now pinning his own to the thick, metal wall of the Meeting Room.

Unbeknownst to all, Diana and Donna had appeared on the doorway, the Amazonian Princess with a raised eyebrow of surprise, and the god-like Troia rolling her eyes and sighing something that sounded very much like, '_Not again, boys…_'

Blue eyes sparkled in amusement, even as Wally's fury returned –completely ignoring the tinkling smash of John's dropped coffee mug _and_ the quiet Bat-mutter of disapproval, for his own safety, J'onn phased through the floor…

~)0(~

"When I get free I am so going to- to- arrrrgh!" Threatened the frustrated speedster, frowning and vibrating his molecules through the wall and back again, free of the restraining metal…and two feet in front of Nightwing. He poked an irked finger into the blue symbol on the other's chest, "That was uncalled for and you know it!"

"Fun, though…" he shot back, ignoring the 'Really, guys?' look Donna was broadcasting in their direction…She sighed and said, "This really isn't going to degenerate into a pissing contest, is it you two?"

An Eyebrow of Doom raised high, promising death to the next one who spoke, Donna had gotten rather good at interpreting and employing Non-Verbal BatCommunication…

~)0(~

Several moments of silence ensued, a whole conversation appearing to take place via the various facial expressions [or near-expressions, in certain cases] and movements employed by the three figures in the center of the room…

Diana floated over to hover behind Batman, who seemed to be following the conversation with an almost scientific curiosity. "What are they saying, Bruce?" she whispered into his ear, Batman noticed Superman also leaned in to hear his answer. Green Lantern remained impassively amused and confused by the strange display of facial contortion going on in front of them all…

"_Quite a lot, but if you want the abridged version…Wally and Dick are arguing over an incident that occurred in Titan's Tower a while ago, there are no clear details and they are continuously referring to the incident as 'The Not-so-Invincible LampShademan', however Wally is threatening to kill Nightwing if he mentions it aloud. _

_Donna has pointed out to both parties that this is ridiculous, and she will kill both of them if they don't stop acting like children and-…no, she has changed her mind…she now says she will kill him if he ever mentions her involvement in- …She's threatening to do something I am quite certain is physically impossible with his escrima sticks…_

_There is nothing truly distinct, although they do seem to be throwing bad puns back and forth, some new and others quoted from past missi-… They've come to an agreement…_" he paused and waited for them to speak.

~)0(~

"Fine, I promise to pay more attention next time, I swear! I'm sorry you were hurt Donna, if I'd have known he was going to- well, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been goofing off on missions…and I'll try and work on my one-liners, mine aren't very _Punny _at the moment…Ha ha, get it? Punny! Ha- OW!"

His laughter turned into a yelp of surprise as Nightwing smacked the speedster lightly over the back of the head, there was a certain amount of affection in the gesture, but it still stung. Donna smirked into her hand…

"_Hey_! Dick, why'd you do _tha-_ oh, right, no more bad puns…got it…" Wally mimed zipping his lips shut and throwing away the key; amused, Dick said [what they were all thinking anyway…] aloud, "Now if we could just find a way to make this a permanent arrangement…"

Donna sighed and mildly facepalmed…

~)0(~

Dick turned just in time to catch his mask, which magically ended up caught in his right hand, leaving him in the right position to raise an eyebrow in Batman's direction. The Dark Knight merely replied, "The general idea is to keep it _on_ your face, if you need a weapon, that's what the batarangs are for…"

There was humour in his voice, and a smile quirked at Batman's lips before he disappeared into the ominous shadows filling the semi-darkened room…and was gone. John voiced his annoyance as Dick replaced his mask, "How does he _do that_?"

Nightwing disappeared too, swallowed whole by darkness, only to reappear by the Green Lantern's side; he bent over and whispered in the man's ear, a low and gravelly, "Do what?" At which point John gave into the instinctual urge and yelped, loudly…Wally began to laugh hysterically.

"I guess you are scared of things that go Bump in the Night-_Wing!_ A hah ha ha!"

There was a generalised groaning at the horrendous pun and a double yelp of pain as his two teammates made good on their previous agreement…

~)0(~

Donna smiled lethally and looked to Nightwing, mirroring her evil smirk and they turned upon the speedster in unison. He began to steadfastly back away as they approached, arms raised, hands intent upon grabbing flesh that was [quite obviously] **_Property of Wally_**…

"Looks like you need a _swift_ kick in the rear, Wally. Don't worry, it'll all be over _in a Flash_," grinned an enjoying-herself-way-too-much- Troia, strangely, Dick looked at her before shooting back, "Isn't that what she said…?"

Wally vaguely found himself wondering if it was possible to have "Death by Bad Punnery [& Generalised Ass-Kicking]" inscribed upon his tombstone…

~)0(~

"…don't know about you, Donna, but I feel better!" smiled the former-Boy Wonder, looking at their handiwork in admiration, and nodding approvingly. "In fact this reminds me of another time…" He halted, in just the right place to avoid joining the speedster; from where he hung suspended from a large pipe on the ceiling of the currently empty Watchtower Cafeteria, only a small army of duct tape standing between him and gravity…

Donna frowned, "Should we leave him up there, we've had our fun…maybe we should let him down or at least take the gag off…?"

Dick grinned back at her as they turned to leave, a brotherly arm about her shoulders, "Oh, don't worry about him, he'll get out of that in a _Flash…_"

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><p><strong>HOPE YOU LIKED IT!^^<strong>

**Please REVIEW**, I would like to point out the 'Lamshade Man Incident' is actually something that occurs in an upcoming fanfic, so hang out for it...you will die laughing!^^

And yes, I wrote this in only a few minutes, so...it's weird...


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